In chaos there is cosmos

Tuesday 19 August 2014

Wasted - A Dizian

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 Posted by Rra , No comments


A dizan is a traditional French poem composed of 10 lines with 8 syllables in each line. Later, however,  ten syllable lines were also used. A few examples of this form in England did prefer Iambic Pentameter, but that's purely up to the poet.

A painting by Clyfford Still

Dizzy, I toiled in the harsh light
My hands slowing as my heart paced
Armed and stoned, I’m ready to smite
Never had wine but bile I taste
Holes in my soul too large to baste
Now I lay on my earthly bed
On the green cush I rest my head
Warm sylvian breeze, cool me down
Seal my wounds now, enough I’ve bled
Cover my eyes, Dream, let me drown.

Monday 23 June 2014

Monday 17 March 2014

A Happy Ending

Monday, March 17, 2014 Posted by Rra 2 comments
Blackfield - Cloudy Now



Munch_vampire.jpg (700×543)
Love and Pain by Edvard Munch




She sat there by the bed. Her head was buried in the pillow and the pillow was wet. The moon felt sad for her and wanted to console but the room was walled on all sides. Still, the adamant moonlight managed to creep through the cracks in the ceiling and cast a pale shadow on her beautiful face.






He sat in the dark corner of the room looking at her. Often he would try to reach out but would stop midway. Often he would try to speak but would hesitate on what to say. He loved her. It pained him to see her cry. He felt jealous of the moonlight caressing her rosy cheeks now streaked with tears. He wanted to go over to her. He wanted to hold her frail frame in his strong arms. He wanted to say “It was goin’ to be fine”. He wanted… But he couldn’t. It held him back. It had always held him back.


The dark room was eerily quiet now, echoes of her faint sobbing had subsided. She must have fallen asleep. Hunched in his corner he looked up his knees. He saw her. He wanted to get up, gently stroke her ebony hair, clear the few strands sticking to her wet face. But he could not. It held him back. Mustering up the strength in his legs, he tried to stand but gravity pulled him down. Filling up his lungs with air he wanted to shout out, call out to her, and beg for her forgiveness. But, was left gasping for breath. He had never felt this helpless.


He tried to think of happier times when they were together. He pictured her draped in a yellow sundress, her long hair blowing as the wind mischievously stole her silk white hat. The silhouette of her slender body in the fading sun, radiant and divine. He remembered her lips twisting into a smile and making its way to her glistening eyes fixed upon his bent shape. Her head nodding in approval to the little ring he held in his hand. They were going to be so happy together. Were… But that again reminded him of his present predicament and made him sadder. How could he have let this happen? It was supposed to be a happy ending. Was…


She woke as the moon bid adieu and the Sun took his place. She got up, wiped her face with the helm of her white gown. Tied her hair back, held her chin high and walked out of the room. She descended the stairs into the open hall where the woman in black was waiting. “You have to change”, hissed an elderly voice. She said nothing and tried to be strong. No, she said and broke down. “It’s not fair”, her voice cracking. “Life never is” came the solemn reply.


He woke up with a jerk, his body aching. Always aching. He looked around but she was nowhere to be found. Unable to get up he crawled and clawed the locked door. It was his turn to cry. He offered one last prayer, for one last chance to see her. He said he would give up anything. He closed his eyes.


Outside, the sky was overcast with glum clouds. Do not mock me she commanded and the sky held back her tears. The woman in black led her to the black Mercedes. She entered the sedan and looked at the old house for one last time. The engine was stated and they drove off. The wind carried the sound of a faint explosion, the woman in black said that it was done and paused. “The house is no more”.  She said nothing, she knew it had to be done.


He opened his eyes and saw fire. The fire was a giant beast with a thousand heads and a million eyes.  He saw the blue flames break into a smile.
“It’s time” said the fiery beast in a voice of screams.
“I have come for your heart”.
He looked into his charred eyes and said no, it belongs to her.
The beast laughed, red sparks flew out from the Jackal’s face.
“She doesn’t NEED it anymore, MORTAL.”
Give it to me or I’ll rip it out, it roared.
He put on a brave smile, “you can try”.
“FOOL! “ Bellowed the beast.
SUFFER!
The beast opened its fiery jaws and devoured him whole. A searing pain engulfed his mind.
“HOW DARE YOU!”
A giant claw ripped his chest apart. Another took his right arm. His mind went numb and he thought of her. Finally the beast stopped. There was a final burst of flames. Darkness.  He felt as light as ash now. There was no pain. He did not remember who he was. He flew. He did not remember what he was. He kept drifting into nothingness. 
The car was cruising over the bridge. She took off the ring and kissed it. She rolled down the window and threw it into the river below. The turbulent waters caught the ring and accepted the payment.


He saw something glowing at a distance. It was her hat. As he floated towards it, it kept growing bigger and brighter. He reached out to touch it. It was as big as the sun now and just as bright. White strands laced its rims and he managed to grab one. Everything was white now. The toll had been paid.


The car disappeared into the horizon. He faded into the light.